Basic Rock
$99.99
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- ✦ Basic rock emotions
- ✦ Standard rock personality
- ✦ 24/7 rock support
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Premium Rock
$999.99
/rock
- ✦ Advanced rock emotions
- ✦ Custom rock personality
- ✦ Priority rock support
- ✦ Rock fashion accessories
Enterprise Rock
$9,999.99
/rock
- ✦ Quantum rock emotions
- ✦ AI-powered rock personality
- ✦ 24/7 dedicated rock support
- ✦ Custom rock fashion line
- ✦ Rock butler service
Frequently Asked Questions
Is my rock covered by warranty?
Yes! All rocks come with a 4.5 billion year warranty against erosion.
Can I upgrade my rock later?
Absolutely! Our rock upgrade program is as smooth as polished granite.
Do you offer rock financing?
Yes, we offer 0% APR for the first 100 million years.
What's your return policy?
All rocks are final sale. Once you've bonded with your rock, it's forever.